FESTIVAL: Download Festival - 13th, 14th, 15th June

‘Oh my god, another shitty line-up for Download 2008’.This is what I heard from a countless number of people for months, most of them egotistical rock ‘fans’ whose listening experience ranges from Metallica to Megadeth. Regardless of your stance, a music festival is a fucking music festival. No other place on Earth is as liberated, free and downright fun, and to criticise that is to criticise a hell of a lot. Needless to say, Download 2008 was again a fantastic time to be had. Here’s the run-down, with the ratings taking the form of ‘G’s (that’s ‘G’ for ‘Gary’) out of five. G = a whole G, . ½ = half a G. Let the sunburn, unhealthy food and four days of sleeping in a sweaty tent begin…

The weather doesn’t look too good on Friday morning. Hopefully a great band to kickstart the festival will alleviate the mood. It’s a shame that Black Tide (G½) are bloody rubbish. I am slightly impressed that they’re a three-piece metal band which is rather unusual, but they have no idea how to account for this mid-frequency gap when it comes to solos. Plus, the stink of Metallica wannabeism is overpowering. Stone Gods (GG½) fare much better, even though they have the shadow of previous band The Darkness looming over them. You wouldn't have thought it though, as their previous bassist takes on a great frontman disposition while Dan Hawkins tears it up on guitar. Up next are Black Dahlia Murder (GG½) who, while performing their own soundcheck, show a definite closeness with their fans. The fans go ballistic when they launch into their set, and the pits stay equally frantic for the remainder. A great show, but hindered in the first half by a low sound mix. When it is announced that Kid Rock will no longer be performing – greeted by many cheers – it is then stated that Disturbed will have a longer set in his place – greeted by many boos from me. Disturbed (G) are such a pile of poo, singer David Draiman almost appears as a six-foot turd. Awful songs, nearly all of which are started by an unnecessary playback intro, are played with all the conviction a mudfish would exude. A dead mudfish. Moving on from the negative vibes, I ditch Motorhead to see The Subways (GGGGG), the first truly awesome band of the weekend. Billy Lunn elicits a war-preparation response from the crowd; speaking honestly, scaling the rigs, and simply being tight as fuck with his army of three. They are a testament to how good live music can really be. Up on the main stage are the celebrated Judas Priest (GG) who a lot of people have been looking forward to. This is a bizarre one, as when the band plays it all sounds the way it should do: Rob Halford wails like he always did, the others rock out in a professional manner. Just there is no energy whatsoever, but I can’t really blame them since Halford and co. are so freaking old they look like they’re about to have a heart attack at any moment onstage. Geriatric metallers never fail to sadden me. Kill Hannah (GGGG) are basically the opposite of JP: energetic, a feminine-orientated crowd, and not a wrinkle between them. Their mix is a sweet balance of delayed vox, guitars and dancey drums, and while on record they lack a certain something, here they sound as full and sassy as they should. Small tents to big stages, Simple Plan (GGGG½) are possibly the most surprising band all weekend. I always have a disturbing penchant for pop-punk, but this group have always repelled me a bit as being too sugary and blatant even for that genre. Yet live, they’ve a wicked sense of humour and wit, holding the audience in the palms of their hands with ease. Oh, and they sound amazing. Kiss (GGGG) really are… erm, something else. As first headliner of the weekend they’ve a lot to live up to: they surpass it and then some. Besides the perfect 35 year-long drilled set and iconic make-up, perhaps this show should’ve been aired on Comedy Central. Toward the end, there are fireworks for every single song, including a fucking Catherine wheel on the closing Detroit Rock City. And after viewing Gene Simmons release gallons of fake blood from his mouth during a space-age bass solo, you can’t help but chuckle with glee.

Saturday sees grindcore enthusiasts Job for a Cowboy (GGG) make other bands tremble at the mere sight of their mosh pits. The band though are intensely tight, yet deny themselves any real crowd interaction. 36 Crazyfists (GG) are just boring as a day out with your nan really. Next. Madina Lake (GGG½), in a storm of confetti, balloons and hairspray put their heart and soul into the performance. An achievement, considering the bass guitar wasn’t working throughout the whole set. Built from the rubble of Creed, Alter Bridge (GGG) really are a friendly bunch. Towering vocals, guitar solos that fly in the blue above the clouds, and a wonderful singalong to Open Your Eyes, you just can’t help not to like them. Biffy Clyro (GGGG) seriously are the tightest band I’ve ever seen in my life. It really is stupendous. I just can’t get over it. Yet, they don’t play 57 so they don’t get the full five Gs treatment. Sorry, Biffy. Bullet for my Valentine (GGG½) follow up, and straight out of the blue, are actually good. In fact, not just good, but great. This is coming from someone who hates their music, by the way. They treat the audience like real friends, and emphasise this by demanding a massive wall of death. But probably the best band all weekend is Pendulum (GGGGG), whose atmosphere is incredible: you cannot beat an entire crowd going ‘doo-doo-doo-dooooooo-doo-dee-doo’ to one of their signature synth licks. The entire front half of the audience consists of six mosh pits (yes, I counted), each person having the time of their lives to Pendulum’s hard-hitting rave-rock. It’s annoying that Ash (GG½) don’t live up to them in concert. This is a strange performance, as each member looks as though they’re having the time of their lives, but don’t make the right noise that it should be complimenting. Since Ash lost Charlotte Hatherley and became a three-piece a couple of years ago, they don’t sound as if they’ve worked out the right parts to fit the hole she left. The Offspring (GG½) fare a bit better, but Noodles is the only one who really lets it rip energy-wise. Great songs, mediocre performance, minimal stage set-up, and a short performance. Although, Self-Esteem does sound brilliant.

Lethal Bizzle (GGG) is the first band on my agenda for Sunday, after having missed Fightstar. Why the absolute fuck is this group playing Download? It doesn’t matter, as the urban triplet Bizzle hold their own against the rap-hating mass’s bottles. Besides their performance being worthy of a good rating, the real fun to be had here is them fighting off the idiotic throng, much akin to My Chemical Romance vs. Slayer fans at Reading 2006. The highlight of semi-classical Apocalyptica’s (GG½) set is an appearance from latino maiden Christina Scabbia, who sings fine and looks even more fine. I believe it would’ve been a good choice to play one of two of their covers, so as to involve the crowd more - but it looks as if they want to do their own thing, which is cool. Just a shame there’s not a massive fanbase for cello metal. Hailing from Scandinavia also, there is no denying Within Temptation (GGG½) sound on fire today. Sharon den Adel hits and maintains those notes like a machine, as the band blaze through their decent tunes behind her. Kids In Glass Houses (GG½) have the songs but today, don’t have the edge. Frontdude Aled Phillips really looks like he doesn’t want to be here, and following closer Give Me What I Want, Elliot Minor’s (GG½) Alex Davies seems to feel the same way. Outwardly negative, he’s a polar opposite to Ed Minton, one of those guitarists who just go crazy wherever they are. Jimmy Eat World (GGG) sing their hearts out… well, at least the singer does. The others seem a tad bored, even when playing incredibly good songs like Work and Big Casino. Alas, they also suffer from a less-than-astounding mix. They finish on a celebratory The Middle which does eventually pick up the pace, but it’s not enough to save it from my run of the mill rating. Following Jimmy’s pretty pedestrian performance, the festival is closed by headliners Lostprophets (GGGGG). The way Ian Watkins can hold a crowd fits nicely alongside the other five members, who know how dynamics work and play their respective parts with passion. A well-paced set is the order of tonight, littered with a manic Fake Sound of Progress and a couple of new songs too. This show really hits home with the closing canon of Last Train Home, Shinobi vs. Dragon Ninja and Burn Burn (complete with the obligatory flames). The only niggle is that they are way too quiet to begin with, but that is soon fixed a few tracks in.

After a ritualistic session of showering, scrubbing and deoderising, I am now back into the swing of normal life. By heck though, going mental at a festival sure beats it. Go to Download next year; it will not disappoint.

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